Unkind Fate“Everybody has a soul mate. The other half that completes them. To have one is great joy. To lose one is the deepest sorrow one can ever have.”Unkind Fate by KittySib
I remember my mother telling me that. Every time anger and despair warred within me seeking eternity, my mother would tell me this. She also told me that whatever I went through, my soul mate would be able to understand and identify with me. In practical terms it meant scar for scar we'd be alike. Fitting together like puzzle pieces.
I'm not sure when I started hating my soul mate. All the horrible things I've gone through was HIS fault. I wouldn't hurt so much if he wasn't having issues. Also, the whole idea of living solely for another person rubs me wrong. I can't kick the bucket because he's looking/waiting for me? Screw that.
My best friend Seth invited me to a pretty park saying he had a “surprise” for me.
“Rebecca, I'd like to introduce you to my cousin, Darian.” Seth stepped aside, and my breath caugh
Scarred and WaitingI look at my hands. At my arms. At my scars. The skin tells a story of years of pain and despair. Of feeling so broken that the blade was the only relief. There is so much heartbreak etched on skin and heart. In the past, I tried to end the pain permanently. It didn't work. Somehow that made it hurt worse. Inside, the loneliness rips and shreds me, begging to just let go. To cut. To die. To do Something. Anything.Scarred and Waiting by KittySib
If only I weren't so alone. If only I hadn't promised to wait. A couple years ago, I had a dream where I died, and I was shown my soul mate, taking his life because I had taken mine. There was an angel, and I made them the promise that I would wait. Would not try to take my life. If I just keep searching, I will find my soul mate alive. Alive because I am alive.
There have been so many times I have tried to connect. To find him. All that ever happens is I feel used and the loneliness attacks worse than before. My soul mate has to be out there. Has to be. If not, what am I doi
SiftingSifting through faded memories,Sifting by KittySib
sparkling shards of shattered love are everywhere.
I feel so empty,
watching the Shadows consume everything I've lost.
Is it easier to be strong when you are empty?
Do memories make people weak?
Whispers and half forgotten phrases tease my memory.
I had reasons to be strong before,
But they all fade away.
Now I cloak my heart in the elusive night.
Do I know you?
Do you care?
Are you worth it?
Blindly staring into the wreckage,
haunting screams consume,
and shattered tears crunch underfoot.
Why can't I have what I need?
Stare into my eyes.
Am I somehow unworthy?
Have I failed to earn a chance?
They say it makes you stronger.
They say it makes you weak.
What they don't say is it's absence makes one hollow.
I want what others have.
The blending and intertwining of a love so pure and strong,
it will never shatter.
It will never unmake me,
and will chase away the screams of my fear.
So many times I have tried
Writing is my passion. I also draw some and crochet. I now have a shop on etsy to sell the blankets I make. |
The shop name is BlanketKitten. Feel free to check it out!
I want to reach out with my writings and inspire others. Even though it is easy to get lost in the darkness, one can almost always find a light-if you look for one. I may be a bit strange and unconventional-I am a Kitty Cat Imperialist. (and yes, I'm serious) Anyways, I like making new friends. I hope you find what you are looking for and have a great day!
All shall be accomplished while serving the Kitties, who rule this world, though it is not widely known.