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KittySib

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Sophia

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I'd like to apologize for the lack of cat pics recently. Sophia has been having some expensive health problems so I've been really stressed out, and haven't been taking pictures. She has hyper thyroid, and getting the right dose of medication for that has been difficult. The first dose we tried made her thyroid go too inactive. In three weeks she goes in for another thyroid test. Hopefully this new dose is just right. Last year Sophia was started on an anxiety med because she would throw up all the time and the doctors had no idea why. At first we managed to get her to take them, but now she refuses them, and throws them up. I have ordered a compounded anxiety med in tuna flavor, that will hopefully arrive next week. We will see if she will take it, and if it helps. Since things have been so stressful for both her and me (she often refuses her food) I hope things will settle down soon. I love my cat, picky princess that she is, and will do my best to provide her with the best possible care. She is a senior cat though, so her health problems may increase over time. I ask for your patience in regards to cat pictures. My sister's cat Garrus is doing well, he's just super skittery and hard to get good photos of. Best wishes to all of you and your furbabies!

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I have a lot of poetry and story fragments and stuff like that here on DA. My therapist has been suggesting that I compile my literary journey into a book as sort of a memoir of sort or something like that. I'm not sure what kind of issues might occur with DA if I left my content up here and then published. Anyway, it would be a huge undertaking. I'm not even sure if anyone would want to purchase or read such a thing. Does anyone have any thought, suggestions, or advice for me? I'm not even sure if I'm going to undertake the project or what it would look like as a finished product. I would love to hear you guys' thoughts on this!

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SO first off, I wanted to apologize to everyone for being so slow to get back to people for faves, comments and llamas. Also, to those of you who watched me Before the shift over to Eclipse , where they completely reworked how the site does things, I am very sorry for the lack of posts, and deviations, especially those of you who watch me solely for the cat pics. I find dealing with faves and comments a LOT more daunting since the site changed, but the other main reason I haven't been very active is that things where I currently live haven't been going very well. I've had issue upon issue with my roomie, that basically evolved into me being a full blown mess and looking for somewhere else to live. I've been trapped in this living situation with no hope of escape for many months, and it's affected me deeply.


BUT! I finally have a ray of hope! I found another place to live, and it is much MUCH closer to my sisters and family. I don't have an exact move in date as of yet, but for sure some time in October, I shall be moving into a one bedroom apartment! This means NO ROOMIES! It will be all on me to make this a wonderful castle or lair. (I haven't actually seen what the apartment looks like because they can't give a tour before the previous occupant leaves, so I have no clue how much space there will be or the layout or any of those details.)


HOWEVER, I am so thrilled to pieces to be escaping, that I think almost anything would be better. Wish me luck you guys, I'm gonna need it. Moving is stressful, no matter how good you are at it or how many times you've done it. I've moved around a LOT, and it's STILL a huge ordeal EVERY time. If any of you are interested in buying a blanket from my Etsy shop to help me have less stuff to move and more money to work with, that would be pretty awesome. *wink, wink*


Anyways, please don't expect much in the way of deviations from me for a while. Take care everyone! Stay safe and healthy! I am doing my best in that direction, and I wish everyone else to best!

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When I realized I'd begun cutting again at about 3 week intervals and took a look at the reasons why, I felt trapped and frustrated. I hadn't realized that even though I had tried establishing boundaries and explaining my intention to be a book dragon living in social isolation, that everyone was ignoring my wishes and attempts to protect myself. I have nothing left inside to give to help all those who make demands on me. I've scraped the bottom of my barrel so far I'm almost to the outside edge. I can't protect or take care of my roomie. I can't give her my time freely. I need it to just be me and my cat, which means I'll be driven from my home and forced to move AGAIN. I'm so sick of moving, of losing important things and places, but I can't keep breaking myself for people who don't understand or care. I can't afford to care about anyone else right now, or I'm gonna end up desperately seeking the next world despite all the evidence that my invincibility will just leave me trapped in a broken body instead of reborn to another realm. As long as I live here, emotional blackmail and extortion are going to be the norm, and until I have another place lined up, I cannot allow so much as a whisper of intent to reach my roomie about my desire to move. If she were to know before I have any options, my low level hell would evolve to the darkest depths. I'm not too happy about being driven into a corner and forced to seek out friendlier skies. Moving is emotionally and financially exhausting, and this one is gonna come with an extra helping of guilt and stress.

Usually the fact that I cut doesn't bother me too much, because it fulfils it's needs or purpose about 90% of the time. But I can't help resenting it right now. I hurt myself to avoid hurting others right now, so every new scar feels like proof that people are hurting me (emotionally) and don't actually care that they are expecting too much or making unreasonable demands.I can't let CHild of Wrath have her say or her words will drip poison and draw blood. I used to be an extroverted introvert who constantly cared about and for other people, but years of having my heart and trust broken and abused have turned me into a selfish, self centered dragon who guards herself as best she can. I have no idea how I'm going to survive this until I can find a place to call home where I can be safe and everything. Moving is expensive too. I hate this. I hate having to put other people's needs and desires before my own. I don't want to deal with this. I want all the pain to disappear, instead of having to disappear myself. And DA changed the site so much, it no longer feels like home. I try desperately to keep all of my emotions locked away because I don't feel comfortable dealing with all the new formatting. I'm overwhelmed by all of it. I'm lost. I have nothing left inside and everyone just keeps taking from me. Why can't the world just leave me alone? Yeah... sounds whiney, but... I'm at the end of my rope here, and I don't feel like it's worth the effort to try and sugar coat things so that other people aren't annoyed. I have to hide how I feel from people in real life way too much, so at least let me be real here, ok?

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Hi Everybody! We have made it through another month!:party: :wow: I am so proud of all of us! The weather outside is getting quite lovely here, and people are getting pretty restless. Even though the quarantine is still in effect, far fewer people are taking precautions or wearing masks. A lot of people are outright ignoring common sense and curtesy. It's making me very concerned. A couple days ago one of my sisters was tested for Covid -19. She thinks she probably doesn't have it, and that it's more likely she had it at the beginning of last month when she was super ill, but I'm still worried about her. She's got a weak immune system, so if people are walking around spreading germs, she could very well get extremely ill again....

I have a project I want to do, and was hoping maybe you all could help me out please? I am trying to come up with a name for a character. I want her name to mean one or more of the following: Paradox, contradiction, confusion, chaos, enigma, anomaly, incongruity, odd, strange, mysterious, contrary, insatiable, antinomy, conflict, oxymoron, ambiguous. No names that start with the letters A, D, or R please. I look forward to seeing what y'all suggest!   
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